It was a Dark and Stormy Night

It was a dark and stormy night,
There were people on either side,
Stabbing, sparring and screaming.

It was a dark and stormy night,
It was a night of absolute darkness,
Clouded was the sky, and no bird to fly.

Dilapidated buildings, crying children,
Smoke rising from the burning ale,
Thick air, heavy on the lungs, painful to eyes.

It was a dark and stormy night,
It was a war between two men,
Caught between them was the entire den,

Everyone was a pawn, toiling in calamity,
Seen nothing except someone else’s vision,
Showing meaninglessness of the humanity,

It was a dark and stormy night,
Streets drenched with some fresh smell,
Of men’s blood which fell for someone else,

The serenity and civility of the city was no more,
The humanity was no more,
As the violence progressed it revealed our raison d’etre,
To fight is human, to mourn is also human.

It was a dark and stormy night.

And That’s Where I’m Going

In those moments of silence,
Defined by solitude and self reflection,
That moment when you cease to care about the world,
You’re an observer, not the passenger,
I found myself there, crippled by the stresses of life,
The incipient loneliness bludgeoning me,
The loss of motivation blurring my view,
I’m sick of this. Sick of this. Sick of life.
The pub is where they go,
Life presses them and rum is where they go,
The whorehouse is where they go,
Life presses them and sex is where they go,
The tobacco store is where they go,
Life presses them and cigarettes is where they go,
Camus calls this the biggest problem of mankind,
Some call it the only way out,
Some call it a sin, others crime,
Some freedom, Some a curse.
I think freedom too.
It’s all too much to bear.
You see a mirage only to get there and sigh.
Only to look forward to another one, until there’s nothing left.
Nothing is where that ends. That’s where they go.
And that’s where I’m going.



Reinvention; Five Cardinal Principles

1- Nothing to lose

This is the fundamental principle. If my life is meaningless and I am not scared of death then I’ve nothing to lose. Remember not to cling to anyone or anything your entire life as it only weakens you by causing dependence. The things that you own end up owning you. Don’t let the inherently meaningless purpose possess you to the state of obsession such that after winning you forget this principle or after losing suffer from depression like a drug withdrawal.  If you don’t get too engrossed in any activity or person or thing only then shall thou be truly free and possess sound mind.

2- Do things merely for enjoyment 

If nothing matters in the end and every action I do is in vain then the sole purpose of any activity I indulge in must be for the sake of pleasure. If you’re studying do it not as a mean but as an end. You can probably create short-term goals but like I mentioned before don’t cling to them as these are ultimately futile. Never expect a greater reward than what you’re experiencing.

3- Struggle to achieve your purpose

The subjective meaning that you’ve assigned to you’re life must be your purpose. Achieving it won’t affect anything, obviously, apart from fulfilment. You must struggle to get this part right. For me, my purpose is to become this fictional character who has completed my impossible list. This person is a doctor who has a taut physique and has an eloquent speech pattern and is a good public speaker. This person is a Doctorpreneur. Whatever traits that this ideal character possesses, are my purpose. Do the maximum possible knowing that you cant go any further but dont get too attached so as to become a mentally troubled person.

4- Absolutely avoid worthless activities 

This is the law of my life. All of the activities that progress the procurement of my purpose are effective and essential but those actions which do not further my position are worthless and negative. So such activities must be avoided at all costs and remember that with time your resistance against them will increase. And counter depression! For me, depression is usually caused by time wastage and doing unimportant tasks like watching anime instead of reading books and this can cause unhappiness and depression. As my future self does not need to be depressed so I should avoid such activities as well.

5- Try your best but welcome failure to learn

I will try my best to achieve the best results that’ll enable me to achieve my purpose but if I fail, I should wholeheartedly welcome it. My life’s purpose must be to fail as much times as possible to learn more about success.

Future Usairam, read this and I’ll come back to you.

Mental Catharsis I

A man fails only when his dreams die.

A man fails only when he stops growing.

A man fails only if he can’t go further anymore.

A man fails only when he loses hope.

A man fails only when he fails to appreciate the dawn. 

A man fails only when he fails to forget the dusk.

Success is not an antonym of failure as most of us believe rather just one of its manifestations. One can’t exist without the other. If we are to comprehend the entrepreneurship spirit we’ll know that life is all about failing and failing until that right time when everything clicks and seems to get put in place. Everything might seem out of order in a state of jeopardy until that one time when all of your aspirations and failures, all of your hard-work and laziness, all of your optimism and pessimism, all of your hopes and fears- in short, every ebb and flow of life gets integrated into a single entity, of which everything is a necessary component, called success.

Go and scrutinize the life of Steve Jobs, Michael Jordon, Serena Williams, Bill Gates, Warren Buffet, and all other successful people who didn’t succeed at their first chance. Failure is the best way to grow and learn. One must fail in order to learn what it needs to be successful and most of all failure provides you with the opportunity to succeed because it’s not the winner rather the loser who actually understands the importance of the trophy.

I am lucky to go through failure at such a ripe young age and understand the principles upon which the human psychology is based. The more you work hard for something the more desperate you are to get it and greater will be the pain if you fail. I failed yet I succeeded to experience life firsthand. I forgot the reality of life, that is nihilism, and got myself so engrossed with studies and the result that I failed to distinguish what mattered and what did not. I started with this fundamental belief that life has no purpose and all that I do, once will be eradicated from the memory of society. People won’t exist forever neither will humanity itself because the world surely will end someday and even if it doesn’t humans won’t be homo sapiens any longer. We are just some atoms and molecules governed by some physical laws and that is what we always will be. Death is just as meaningless as the life itself and it is vain to assign it a meaning. Either you give your life a subjective meaning, knowing that objective truth doesn’t exist, is neither wrong nor right because it neither matters nor does morality exists.

I assigned my life a meaning that is to become someone I aspire to be. And that personality is a doctor among many other things. Even though me achieving this goal is neither good or bad nor does it matter but it’s better to go with the flow as any other sentinel being might. So, it was meaningless in the first place so there is no need to worry about something that never mattered in the first place. I don’t care if I fail, I don’t die if I fail and remember that death is only as meaningful as life itself. So study because you enjoy the process not because it will add meaning to anything. It’s like work done by a conservative force in a closed cycle. One day when you’ll die none of this will ever matter so rejoice! Life is liberating. You are free to do anything you want. But as a human being which craves happiness, that is dopamine, it’s better to live a life according to your aspiration. So I want to experience this life to the fullest and that is the objective of my life apart from surviving and reproducing of course.

Now, I failed to get a good score in MCAT. It never mattered so don’t worry. Remember the most powerful person is the one who can cancel a deal first knowing that he lost nothing and the one who is willing to risk everything without clinging to it. Don’t be miserable, it was meaningless after all, but as it affected my life’s subjective meaning it was unfortunate. But rejoice, you can always go to a high-ranking private university like Shifa even if you fail. So you can still become a doctor! Even if it changes nothing. And you still have a month for Federal Medical and Dental College. Be rational and tackle your problems in the same way like a game. Think of your life as an open world game where anything you do, does not matter. So play your life like a chess and see how it goes. We will succeed in getting success in the way the world defines it, the definition which has, undoubtedly, carved my own ideal.

A Short Love Story

The small grains of sand, gushing in the whirlwind, stung my uncovered face as I hurried across the strait roofless street of the bazaar, illuminated by a faint glimpse of a lunar entity and twinkling shimmering stars in the pitch-obscurity of the dim matter, to a more urbane avenue. Thousands of penniless poverty-stricken people had joined the mirth of the city and the pompous gaiety of the more fortunate. People of different socioeconomic backgrounds intermingled like several canals of water into one homogeneous horde of mindless molecules rushing towards the sea, the exit. The waxing crescent represented an upcoming auspicious day, the Eid, but for the indigent, it was the present which mattered more than an unseen felicity.

Among the herd, I kept moving; going where the tide took me. For me, the ambiance and buoyancy of humanity were more reverent than what an apparently spiritualist day itself was. I was here for a reason for every soul that dwells inside this occult cycle of life has its raison d’etre. My income was minuscule but the possessions never define one’s sentiments and the extent of love itself. There were street-hawkers on the either side of the lane, some of which had gold and silver plated adornments and others which had bangles and accessories of the commoners. I had five hundred rupees inside the pocket, in my shalwar hemmed at the inner side, which I had procured by working overtime in a close-by eatery as a server. I belonged to a peasant family which had been working as farmers in rice paddy-fields for several generations. I caught a glimpse of shiny laced glass bangles sets which were finely arranged in four rows with five of such sets in each. There was also a white cardboard box with a transparent plastic on the posterior side containing an engraved gold-plated set with emerald-green synthetic jewels.

All that and she had demanded nothing from me. My heart was drenched in the aura of gloominess and desperation. Her father was one of the most well-respected and wealthy citizens of the city. She had paid a hefty tag of spurning her ties with her family. A young lady who was raised in the tip-top society, was sent to costly schools and was cleaned by conventions, turned down everything for a man who couldn’t even fulfill her wishes. I bought the jewelry and bangles along with henna with optimistic facial expressions trying to obscure the sadness that had engulfed my soul by then. I lurched among the excited crowd. Their happiness was consuming me. I stopped a rickshaw to take me to the nearest station which was one hour away from my house. One hour of the walk had me when I left my family but now It was more or less an indispensable part of my lifestyle.

We had acknowledged love over everything and we had never regretted the decision. Life is stale and agonizing amid the daily drudges of my occupation yet toward the day’s end, I feel blessed to be able to pay for her college and to return to her, my significant other. The time seemed to fly away as I was engrossed in the contemplation of our dark past. There I was in front of an old rustic wooden door attached to a not-so-dandy cemented house. It was not the best but it contented our fundamental requirements, nevertheless. I knew that she was in the kitchen because I could smell the enthralling aroma of spicy lentils cooked by a young lady who was spooned all her life. I knocked at the door. There was a clattering. And then I heard a soft yet resolute voice that resonated with my heartbeat and pierced my already throbbing heart. I burst into tears. All of my accrued emotions flooded my eyes and then splashed my face. The door opened and there she was, my everything.

A dazzling young lady, with an olive complexion, was gazing at me with rather curious dark brown eyes below arch shaped eyebrows. She had an oval face with eyes set equally apart; a prominent cheek bone; an angular jaw line; a rounded chin; a round nose below which rose-hued lips were present. Her long black hair was braided meticulously.

He dove towards her and shut the entryway behind him. His reflexes were sudden and unfathomable. This was the moment for which each of them had waited for so long an entire day. He put the bag containing the bangles set, henna and a few adornments on the couch quickly without letting her realize as he shoved himself through the entry-way. This was to be a surprise for her. He put his arms around the small of her back with her head pushed against his chest. There was a silence.

“Are you crying?” she asked moving her eyes towards him. She had noticed his wet cheeks.

“No, no. It’s nothing,” he said with mournful eyes.

“You know I hate it when someone lies to me, did something wrong happen?” She looked at him with a distressed expression.

He remained silent for some time but then blurted out.

“It’s just that……..I mean that you are amazing and deserve so much better but I can’t……” he said with his eyes darting at his feet.

He had finally said it. This sentiment lay with him through his long stretches of the day and contemplative nights as an unbidden guest.

“How dare you say that?! We have sacrificed our everything to live with each other. Had it been something else that I wanted I wouldn’t have put up with you for such a time. I love you! And that’s just what I want back in return.”

He looked at her with relief. This liberated him from an incipient anxiety that he was keeping her unhappy. They had sought love and love they had acquired.For her, he was incompletely immaculate and for him, she was defectively perfect.

The sobbing gradually diminished and the young couple kept staring each other. They closed their eyes and gradually pulled closer to each other until their lips touched. A chill went down the spine when their lips met. They were intoxicated with adrenaline. Their heart started pounding harder and harder until they felt it throbbing near their throat. She felt his lips quiver because of nervousness. She caressed his stubble. He felt as if he was corrupting her. Am I ready? Is this a sin? Will anybody know? What will they think? What will my mom say? What if we get caught? The fear kept rising inside each of them until it was completely eradicated. Instincts took over. There was no shame and no holding back. They started breathing heavily and kissing more passionately. He lifted her up holding her thighs and thrust her onto the bed. His cold hands met her warm smooth skin. She ran her bare hands beneath the hem of his shirt tracing to his back. This sent shivers down his spine. He felt goosebumps as he was enticed by the process. She couldn’t believe that she was doing this. She felt embarrassed and intimidated. Her face blushed as the blood gushed in her body but as the foreplay progressed she started feeling comfortable. He unbuttoned her shirt and she followed the suit. It was a normal deed; not a taboo she had been indoctrinated to believe in. This was an action far more reverent than the cultural norms and social constraints themselves.

The time stood still for both of them as they delved into a world unravished by the cruelties and pain of the imperfect world perfected by the evolution. This denied the existence of negativity and reality. He was looking at her like she was the most precious thing he’d ever possessed and was glad that there was no wall between them. She was apt that she, at last, had him all to herself and that her penances proved to be fruitful. It was neither lust nor sexual interest which held them close rather it was something more significant inside imperceptible to the human eye which fortified them. It was the reverence and love that had brooded between the soul-couples which animated their relationship. They had gone intensive predicaments and hardships yet stayed solid and undaunted, and this was the wellspring of their adoration. Unlike lust which is mortal, love itself is immortal. Love vanquishes everything.


Self Control and Habit loop!

Wikipedia defines self control as;

Self-control, an aspect of inhibitory control, is the ability to regulate one’s emotions, thoughts, and behavior in the face of temptations and impulses. As an executive function, self-control is a cognitive process that is necessary for regulating one’s behavior in order to achieve specific goals


As indicated by the not-so-prevalent philosophical hypothesis of determinism the greater part of our choices and orientations and also collaborations have a causative connection with some past occasion, experience, involvement, thought or presentation and, as a result, the most of the what we call us is only an interlaced system of arbitrary ecological impacts and hereditary premise (a man’s conduct and destiny is dictated by both of these variables; read more here). Okay—- I get it. Let’s make it easy. When you either drink that big glass of coke or skip it for green salad it probably isn’t you making that decision! Same goes for all of your brand choices and priorities. Its your genes and the congregation of environmental influences or nurture, like the blog you coincidentally read that compelled you to make a particular decision. It can be that random friend you sat with the first day in your school and became acquainted with, you never controlled that persons life or interaction with yourself and somehow you bonded with him/her and this induced several changes due to a mere random chance. Now let’s head towards the brass tacks people.


95% of our brain’s activity fall beyond our conscious thinking and cognition while only 5% of it is actually under under deliberate control. This process is called habituation –when you become used to repeating things, in order to decrease the energy consumption (an evolutionary trait to compensate for this large neural lump) of the brain without evoking the higher centers of the brain, as numerous studies have shown. As you are perusing this paragraph you are instantly recognizing the words like pictures and hear them boisterous inside your brain as opposed to understanding them sequentially. Like, re–ding makes itself out as reading because for the most of the time we are “recognizing” rather than “reading”. This is all to say that we are, for most of the times, beyond ourselves.


Okay, I’ve wanted to, somehow, get to this point since I started this whatever-it-is. Self control is basically using those higher conscious areas of your brain to somehow mould your unconscious habits and interactions into a different order. For addicts it can be a Herculean task- (Eh, stop smoking’ would you? Nah, just one last time. One won’t hurt right?) and as we as a whole are dependent on our old ways and propensities in a way transforming them is hard and controlling our activities is much harder.  In some cases we may even overlook that we are dieting and keep glued to the ancient path.

Become RESOLUTE. You need to commit yourself that YOU ARE GOING TO CHANGE YOURSELF. Sometimes you may forget or give in, but try again as only repetitive affirmations will alter your habit loop.

Marcus Aurelius, a roman emperor who ruled Rome from 161-180 A.D. says in his book meditation (One of my most favorite book ever!);

“At dawn, when you have trouble getting out of bed, tell yourself: ‘I have to go to work—as a human being. What do I have to complain of, if I’m going to do what I was born for—the things I was brought into the world to do? Or is this what I was created for? To huddle under the blankets and stay warm?

‘—But it’s nicer here…’

So you were born to feel ‘nice’? Instead of doings things and experiencing them? Don’t you see the plants, the birds, the ants and spiders and bees going about their individual tasks, putting the world in order, as best they can? And you’re not willing to do your job as a human being? Why aren’t you running to do what your nature demands?

‘—But we have to sleep sometime…’

Agreed. But nature set a limit on that—as it did on eating and drinking. And you’re over the limit. You’ve had more than enough of that. But not of working. There you’re still below your quota. You don’t love yourself enough. Or you’d love your nature too, and what it demands of you. People who love what they do wear themselves down doing it, they even forget to wash or eat.

Do you have less respect for your own nature than the engraver does for engraving, the dancer for dance, the miser for money or the social climber for status? When they’re really possessed by what they do, they’d rather stop eating and sleeping than give up practicing their arts.”

This passage highlights the significance of sticking to one’s manifesto or life purpose that for my case might be studying and becoming a doctor. Also, it is tentatively upheld truth that more your condition changes better are your odds to adjust and change your propensities. For me, “not studying” is a problem of paramount importance. It is due to initial procrastination which fortunately can be remedied by getting started as soon as I get home. After that, I can FIX my break timing so that I do not wander off. Now this point deserves some special attention, to actually implement this strategy I will have to fight my inertia or slackness (Old habits) daily to actually progress. Research has illuminated that our willpower is like a muscle and is a limited resource. Then waking up in the morning at a specified time is as hard as resisting a slice of freshly baked pizza but again its hard only initially. So by determinism and commitment we can engrave these habits into us.



The air conditioner is on. The blanket is around you. The pillow is soft. Eyelids are several metric tonne heavy.  NOW, you might remember that you have committed yourself to change and you might want to screw this idea and stick with your comfort-zone, which is undoubtedly natural. This will be intense, yet guarantee me that you will move! Here and there you may give in, go berserk when you end up plainly mindful and feel sorry for! It’s not that bad if you try harder next time, even though you failed, because constant affirmations will help thee. Good fortunes! You’ve read or perused 1010 words till now, yowser! Do share your thoughts 🙂

NOTE: Some links have been tagged with keywords and I’ve added some important URL’s if you need to further follow such topics.

My MDCAT Journey


This is a summary of a Thomas.J. Frank video by a YouTuber and it goes like;

  • 1- study for chunks of 25 to 30 min after that take a break.

  • 2- reward yourself after finishing your entire day.

  • 3- Study concepts firstly then study facts.

  • 4- Once you learn the concepts test yourself and learn actively

  • 5- Highlight the important terms

  • 6- Our brain is good at recognizing but it’s not good at recollecting so you can practice this by testing yourself and learn actively

  • 7- Flush out your notes to solidify the concepts in your mind if you feeling fuzzy with something you can ask your friend who takes a good notes or ask your professor in office hours

  • 8- Summarize what you have learned by teaching it :

  • (8-a)- It’s useful for recalling the information

  • (8-b)- To ensure that you understand the subject completely

  • 9- To be good at memorizing is to use mnemonics :

  • 1- Acronyms : VIBGYOR (red orange yellow green blue indigo violet)

  • 2- Coined sayings : as you singing a poem about something you need to memorize

  • 3- Image association : to create a story in your head with what you have studied


My day will be systematized as the following;


I should sleep at 12 am sharp and wake up at 7 am sharp. This way my much needed 7 hours sleep and hence REM sleep for memory consolidation will be achieved. Moreover I’ll be having one power nap right after my academy to further facilitate memory.


Here consistency is the key and spaced repetition favors my view. I’ll do 18 poms daily on a consistent basis, starting from the time I finish taking a nap. Make sure you don’t let your schedule pace out.


Reading the notes twice and completing the important stuff will be followed by keenly reading and memorizing other stuff from my text book which has been assigned.


To prepare yourself before the lecture, first read the U.H.S. syllabus, which is an added advantage due to its question type nature, and then read all the stuff that you need to know about the related topics. Highlight the stuff that you are not sure about.


After lecture, read the notes and then read the book. Solve the assigned exercises and questions. After this, when you create flashcards related to the important numerical values, M.C.Q.s and important things, remember that it must not take much time you must already have decided that stuff to put in there. After it you should start revising your ankicards. This should be repeated in a cycle for every subject you do.

  • RELAXATION (High Density Fun)

Now lets do a nifty maths. We have 24 hours out of which 7 hours will go to sleeping. 5 hours for the academy and 1.5 hour for the travel. It makes 13.5 hours. Now add 8 hours to it and you get 21.5 hours. Now you have like 2.5 hours for breakfast, shower, snacks, and shit (Yes.literally!). You can squeeze in an hour of H.D.F. which might be playing a video game or watching an episode of a T.V. series. But it totally depends on you, if you’re fine with it. I, personally, can’t run such stuff simultaneously, I’d either study hard or not at all so I’ll skip this part. My reward can be mango milkshake or something of the like.


Now you might fall into trouble here. Listen, you come back from academy and get started on Biology. You do its entire session for like 5 poms where one pom should go for both the creation and practice of flashcards. It gives you 2 hours of study for each subject followed by one pom for English. Start doing 10 words each day and make flashcards out of them and practice them within this pom. And listen carefully, buddy, you can always increase or decrease time depending upon the work load of the particular subject.


  • Wake up at 7 and sit on the fucking table and chair by 7:30 and study till 10:00. You get 5 poms done! It might be physics or English or whatever you have planned.
  • Start academy at 12- 5 pm and you’ll be home by 5:30 . Now you might start studying by 6:00 and must be done by 10:30 ideally or by 11:00. Now you have an entire hour to fuck with T.V. series or anime or a game. THAT’S YOUR REWARD FOR 16 POMS OF WORK. 

UPDATES (I will keep updating this article)

June 8- 2017

As of now, I am struggling with studying and managing time as well as focus but this must not be taken as the failure of my methodology but as a slackness on my part. But remember that, I will get one of the top 10 positions of M.D.C.A.T. or secure admission is A.K.U. following the same strategy.  I have blocked Facebook on my laptop using host files and that is only the first step. I have a lot of pending stuff and very little time so I’ll enlist the changes I am bringing.

  1. Try to sit isolated from all of my friends and the circle as to avoid chit chats and basic guy talks.
  2. Try to review ankicards regularly during the van at least on my way to academy.
  3. Keep my desk clean and simple because a tidy desk is intimidating.

Now, I am officially a part of THE MEDICAL COLLEGE CHALLENGE or TMCC and I’ll try my best for this. No more time wasting and bad management. Let’s start.

Mind Dump!

Okay Let’s be honest here, everyone has some crazy ideas that could either change the market or the way we interact the world. My mind has been bogged down by the creed of this like too but at a much crucial state i.e. near my exams. Yeah, Not the perfect time to think of creating an YouTube channel, eh? I guess it started with motivation videos and ultimately Forbes 400 and this unquenchable passion for money which isn’t bad, i suppose. And if my mind serves me right, I think last year in the middle of my exams I was obsessed not with success but gaming! PlayStation and new Tomb Raider: Definitive Edition. This time its business and ideas such as creating the first largest private network of hospitals in Pakistan. It is much closer to my profession than thinking of creating a business statistics website, and yeah I’ve been there too (Couple of days ago). Whether these ideas are a result of my procrastination and delaying my exam preparation or the actual obsession with entrepreneurship I know one thing. It is really infectious for my future career and education. I mean look, my parents have been “investing money” on me as well as their time. And I have been studying all of my life and If I can’t make it out through these annuals I guess Its like inviting an eternal liability and financial dependence on my parents.

One thing that I should realize is that I’ll retain this “creative” brain of mine and ideas until at least 35 and that will be the age when I’ll be able to actually do something rather than just fiddle around on YouTube and daydreaming about being a millionaire . And who knows how successful will I really become but simplifying it; Right now, At this moment I’d rather invest myself and my abilities in education rather than ideas that are virtually worthless unless executed properly and that execution requires experience, knowledge, maturity and dedication which I really lack at the moment. So, while not provoking those ideas let them be where they are and focus on something that is concrete and tested. Education. You can be entrepreneur whenever you like. But education is something you can’t acquire.

So I need to start that lunacy. Right now, I have all what it needs to succeed to be honest. Like 1 week is all one needs to focus on important things and get oneself ready for exams. If I am smart enough to think and execute world changing ideas whether it by through my grit or creativity or EQ or IQ; One thing that really matters is how well can I handle myself in last few days to glory. Wish me Good Luck! Thanks for reading it 🙂

Self Reflection

I have been wasting myself a lot these days. Its not even these days, it goes back to the time when i was giving my 11th Grade exams. I was caught in a vicious cycle of depression. Guilt used to fill my heart when i procrastinated, which led to depression further on and this cycle continued. Now, Ill try to address this issue so that it may never happen again, or that i am prepared to overcome it when it reappears later on. So first step is;


Okay, I agree that I was wrong and have been wrong. I have done pretty lame things in the past. I have wasted my potential time and again. I have deceived myself as well as the God and my abilities. I could have done so much better at so many things but whats done is done. I could have scored more in 11th Grade but whats done is done. I could have wasted less time in 11th Grade but whats done is done. And thinking about my failures in the past is not gonna help in any way. It will only lead me down into a more crippled state; more tensed state; more disappointments. The only way open to me is to look forward and forget the pasts. I got a bad 88% in part one. But that’s just a small 20% of Medical aggregate.


Now, I must keep looking to a brighter future. I have some dreams that i want to fulfill no matter what and one of them is to enter into a prestigious medical institute. My past choices have been wrong and I agree with it but that must not alter my present, which is gonna delineate my path to more disappointments. I have MCAT as well as second year to look forward to. And I must believe that I will score high in these exams and that I can do it. Every day is a new chance to rise and shine.


Yes. Depression transgresses further into my study habits and do so badly. So lets try to stop depression by studying rather than procrastination which is gonna affect me badly. So to eliminate depression and my chances of failure, I must continue my actions. These actions must be such that I try to fill my day with productivity which will increase the positivity and happiness. I must remember at all times, the more I study the closer I am to medical university. So studying must be my primary motivation and profession. Forget the PAST. Just believe that you CAN DO IT and MUST DO IT.


Yes, healthy insanity and delirious feeling are gonna help me here. I should study like mad psychopaths from now on. Strong emotional attachment to studying will make me feel homely when studying books and eradicate negative vibes associated with it. ITS JUST ONE YEAR NOW, SECOND YEAR+MCAT. EMBRACE LUNACY. I CAN DO IT. 

My Impossible List

Life is all about getting and achieving whatever you want. Winning at things you thought were impossible. Most of us have not actually achieved something remarkable or impossible, because we never dreamt that we could do it.

We are who we believe we are.We all have some ambitions and things we want to Achieve.  Things we can only dream about. Things we think only happen in movies, tv shows and media. Something a commoner like us can’t achieve. It’s even more frustrating that you won’t even get this stuff your entire life. When I was young, I dreamt a lot for stuff I wished to have. Wished to achieve. But I had a fear dwelling inside of me. A fear that still exists and keeps on growing as I become “older” and experienced.


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It’s within each one of us to dream, strive and achieve what was meant to be ours. It isn’t the question whether we can fly, it’s are we willing to fly?

You don’t want to end up in your deathbed and looking back at the things you couldn’t do. Life is meant to live as you only live once in sextillions years. You will only have this moment in sextillion years. You were dead and will be dead. You got these few decades in sextillion years. How are you going to live them? Crying over what you couldn’t accomplish but could have. Well, you still can. Make an impossible list. It should have all the things you wish to have. Things that you might think are impossible, might not be impossible. LET’S CHALLENGE OURSELVES TO GLORY.



  • I WILL Complete FSC (Intermediate or Grade 11&12 in Pakistan) with 1000+ Marks (Out of 1100)
  • I WILL Make it to top 5 in second year
  • I WILL Complete MCAT with 1000+ Marks (out of 1100)
  • I WILL Make it to King Edward Medical College or Allama Iqbal Medical College and Complete 5 years of M.B.B.S. (Equivalent to M.D.)without failing.
  • Optionals;
  • I WILL Complete USMLE steps.
  • I WILL Complete my specialization and residency in U.S.
  • I WILL Check my first patient and address to his/her problems.
  • I WILL complete my first surgery
  • I WILL Make a difference in someone’s life
  • I WILL serve the poor free of cost in Pakistan.


  • I WILL Write a novel under 500 pages and get it published
  • I WILL Write a nonfiction book
  • I WILL Write a novella series
  • I WILL Become a New York bestselling Author
  • I WILL Compose and publish a Poem book


  • I WILL Learn to play guitar
  • I WILL Learn to DJ
  • I WILL Become a part of a band
  • I WILL Release my first single in Urdu
  • I WILL Release an Album
  • Optional;
  • I WILL become a famous singer
  • I WILL do my first concert
  • I WILL sign my first autograph



  • I WILL Make a sandwitch
  • I WILL Get close to other employees.
  • I WILL Also gain 5 kg weight eating from there



  • I WILL help them complete their School
  • I WILL Help them complete College
  • I WILL Help them complete university
  • I WILL Attend their wedding day


  • I WILL Hire your first employee
  • I WILL Construct the best hospital
  • I WILL Hire best doctor panel
  • I WILL Hire a lot of nurses
  • I WILL Arrange Doctors and nurses workshops
  • I WILL Hire a finance manager for the hospital
  • I WILL equip it with latest technology
  • I WILL Have special rates for poor
  • I WILL Do my first free surgery
  • I WILL Complete 100 free surgeries every year


  • I WILL Buy my mother a diamond ring
  • I WILL Buy my father a car
  • I WILL Hire a driver for them
  • I WILL Gift them something every month
  • I WILL Take them for dinner once a month
  • I WILL Drive Lahore with my mother and do shopping. I pay.


  • I WILL Tell them that I am successful because of them.
  • I WILL Thank teacher Huma from KG as well.
  • I WILL Invite each one of them(those I remember ) to a ceremony.


  • I WILL have my first date (I don’t care if it’s an arranged blind date)
  • I WILL only marry someone intellectual, rational and the one who loves philosophy.

THINGS I WILL OWN (Buy myself ) 

  • I WILL buy a MacBook
  • I WILL make a gaming rig
  • I WILL buy a PS4 or PS4.5 or PS5
  • I WILL buy a latest iPhone
  • I WILL make a gaming room
  • I WILL buy Apple Watch
  • I WILL buy an iPad
  • I WILL buy a Music surround system
  • I WILL buy Microsoft Hololense or Oculus Rift and play VR 4K Games.
  • I WILL own a German Shephard
  • I WILL own a Persian Cat
  • I WILL own a RADO watch
  • I WILL own a Toyota Land Cruiser
  • I WILL own a pair of Nike runners
  • I WILL own a Nike tracksuit.
  • I WILL own beats earphones


  • I WILL be certified scuba diver and I will scuba dive/Snorkel at Great Barrier Reef
  • I WILL Bungee jump
  • I WILL sky Dive
  • I WILL travel in a helicopter
  • I WILL Para-glide (DONE 😀!!!)
  • I WILL swim in each of the oceans (Well. Thai Gulf done!!!)
  • I WILL have a road trip
  • I WILL get lost once
  • I WILL sleep without roof under the skies
  • I WILL visit Antarctica
  • I WILL have a Cruise Dinner (DONE KABOOM😀)
  • I WILL drink wine. Because why not?
  • I WILL eat every cheese type.
  • I WILL READ 100+ Books
  • I WILL touch tigers
  • I WILL have a Bonfire. And will camp for in a jungle
  • I WILL take a bath in a natural waterfall in wilderness.
  • I WILL take a bath in natural hot geyser in Japan.
  • I WILL have a WILD party. Drugs and chill
  • I WILL attend a concert
  • I WILL enter and drink at a Bar. (I drank water from a bar If that counts 😅)
  • I WILL hangout with some American Friends
  • I WILL make some American friends
  • I WILL crash out after being drunk
  • I WILL get stoned
  • I WILL have a sleepover.
  • I WILL win all you can eat contest.
  • I WILL eat at an expensive hotel
  • I WILL cry all night with a friend
  • I WILL have a girlfriend
  • I WILL learn to SURF
  • I WILL learn to do KNIFE throwing
  • I WILL learn Archery.
  • I WILL Learn sword fighting. Or Sparring.
  • I WILL drive a helicopter
  • I WILL see northern lights
  • I WILL experience the thrill of river rafting boat.
  • I will keep adding in stuff 😉


  • I WILL travel To JAPAN.
  • And participate in a Cosplay.
  • Eat Ramen.
  • Eat sushi. . (SUSHI DONE!!!!)
  • I WILL travel to Thailand and meet people there. Enjoy their cuisine and ambience. See different sites in Bangkok.Their temples and infamous islands. (DONE 🌿🍙🍹!!!!!)
  • I WILL travel to US and become a part of this American Side of me.
  • I will acquire a double citizenship of US.
  • I will travel to to Maldives before it sinks. And watch it’s sapphire sea and sandy small beaches.
  • i will travel to Venice.
  • I will travel to Europe and see all the important Landmarks especially, Eifel tower.
  • I will live in some European village for a week.
  • I will travel to Italy and experience it’s night life.
  • i will travel to Antartica on an expedition
  • I will sail across the sea on a long journey.
  • I will travel to Africa and it’s rainforests as well as Savanna.
  • I will travel to Australia and see its rich biodiversity.
  • I will travel to Northern Areas of Pakistan. ExperiencE Pakistan at its finest. and HUNT.
  • Visit AANSU JHEEL.


  • I WILL lose 5KG weight.
  • I will eat healthy, I.e. No oil or sugar or white rice or white bread for a WEEK.
  • I will have my morning walk ritual before sun sets out completely for a WEEK.
  • I will run for 10 minutes without stopping. ( 1:04 as for now 🏃 )
  • I will start building my body. Six abs? Impossible? I think not.
  • I will start meditation for 3 minutes for a week.

This post is meant to be edited over the course of time. As I Complete these things which I thought were impossible once. And adding new ideas and things that inspire me. All of this will make me a better man. Wish me Good luck 😬😬😁