Sitting idle at breakfast table. Exams buzzing over my head. Head filled with ” Make USAIRAM ( XD) great again“. . Such furor over nerdness? But that’s how things are in my circle. TBH its more than just that. The motivation. I dont know if its fine to say it motivation, well hard work was at epitome in the beginning of the college session. But now, i am just lying around wasted. Exhausted. No Motivation. Its easier to blame others and put it all on someone else’s head. So I did that. Mood swings. Vibes was so INTO me that i was like, I can’t make up my study vibe. I cant study. I dont want to. Things never heal themselves. The conditions never adjust themselves for you. I watched hundreds ( yes literally) of motivational videos to get something which was already residing in me. I thought i could evoke that motivation. But that all exists for a moment though. For which I am like i could study hard and get back my standard. My standard was me looking in eyes of my friends. I cant stand hanging around him like a lowly guy. Layman. Not being good enough.
Now I know. Its always you who control your destiny. Your motivation. I know I cant compete with him or anybody else. But atleast I can try to give my best. I must learn to say NO. iPad. Facebook. Phone. All are very tempting. Sleeping. Procrastination. But now i must take the bull by the horns. I am not evoking motivation. I want to be a part of something bigger. My life is much greater than what it is now.I have dreams and Ambitions that i cant let die with me. Due to this temporary slackness on my part. Those things which make up my perosnality and truly myself. I cant just leave them. I MUST MAKE A MARK ON THIS WORLD. I want to be someone who affects someones elses life. Affect people. Make history. Be something greater. I am much better than other people out there. No superiority complex here. But I cant think out of the box. Know much. I am creative. I am a geek. I am a geek. I am so much more than just a student. But i need to express all my talent in so called studies.
1- I want to be a Doctor. Heal lives. But more than that, i like problem solving and have a extraordinary in Biology. Medicine. Interacting with people.
2- Public speaker. whether it be debating or seminar lectures.
3- Blogging. Well right now i am an immature teenage typing crap. But future is bright. i CAN TELL THAT.
Other than that, i want to read alot of books and write some of them. Many interests yet to ignite.
I have one month left, I am amidst of my preboards. I can still make it to the top. I always say that but for this time its real. Its greater. I am not makings this man loose everything. I am gonna take this man somewhere higher. Change in mood. Conditions. Emotions. Feelings. They are ever changing. DRASTIC CHANGES. Need to be made. I f s o m e t h i n g B o t h e r s Y o u B L O C K I T. You control your life. You must show your potential. BE SERIOUS. THE TIME HAS COME. PLEASE USAIRAM. YOU CAN DO IT. Don’t be an animal. Working on impulses. Instincts. I AM CHANGING MYSELF. No more surrendering to moods. Kill every distraction. You are gonna see me somewhere else soon. I am not dying. I am reviving. I will speaker louder and BOLDER. and be like a Boulder.